I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
