lets start a swedish sibling band together
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
