i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
