I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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