May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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