no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this just has baby written all over it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
