Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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