i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize