i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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