i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
