I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
