There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize