Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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