Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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