garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its not stalking. its research.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
