Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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