Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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