He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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