i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
