ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
