There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
