**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
