i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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