i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
