I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just had sex bonerless
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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