I just cut my nipple shaving
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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