Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
