i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
