Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My vagina is officially offended.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
