Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
