I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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