I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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