my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
