i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
