Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
