i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
