Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
