So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
