Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
