I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
