a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
