Whoa Z and x make the same sound
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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