I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
