First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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