there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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