my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
