I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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