I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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