Fuck appropriateness.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
