HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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