He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
