I puked a lego.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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