So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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