the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
