pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
