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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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