somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
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Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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