She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
