Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
