that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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